Dying Matters
Evenings to share personal experiences around dying, grief and loss
Dying Matters at The Good Heart
Our Dying Matters evenings offer a safe and welcoming space for people to share their personal experiences around dying, grief and loss. It is simply an opportunity to listen, and share if you wish to, without judgement or anyone trying to 'fix' each other's feelings.
Sessions are held in a circle, with hot drinks available
Sessions are held in a circle, with hot drinks available
We recognise that people experience loss in many different ways and welcome those dealing with, not only the death of loved ones, but also perhaps loss of a homeland, pet, job, relationship, health, or something else personal to them. We also acknowledge that grief can be complex, and welcome the wide range of feelings that people bring to this group.
Mel Dalton & Neil Croom
Mel Dalton & Neil Croom
Dying Matters is held the second Thursday of every month by Neil Croom and Mel Dalton. Hot drinks will be provided. Donations towards running costs are always welcome.
7.30pm start, 9pm finish (no entry after 7.40pm). There is no need to book, but you can register if you know you will be attending. For more information about Dying Matters, please email Mel at melaniegoodheart@gmail.com.
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These evenings are inspired by Hospice.uk’s Dying Matters Campaign which works to create an open culture in which we’re comfortable talking about death, dying and bereavement.
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About the Organisers
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Neil works locally as a Therapeutic Coach, with specialised grief training. He also has many years of experience as a former Mental Health Nurse. You can find out more about Neil's professional background and training here: https://www.coachingforlifefrome.co.uk/about.
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Mel is a qualified Art Psychotherapist registered with BAAT and the HCPC, with a background in creative facilitation. Both Neil and Mel have lived experience of grief and loss, and will often contribute elements of their own journeys during the Dying Matters evenings.
DYING MATTERS FAQ’s What happens at Dying Matters? When you arrive, Mel and Neil will welcome you into The Good Heart. You will be offered a free hot drink and you can choose a chair within the circle that is comfortable for you. We usually allow a few minutes after 7.30pm for everyone to arrive and get settled before beginning, with the door closed to new arrivals at 7.40pm. We begin with facilitators Neil and Mel introducing themselves, followed by Neil giving an outline of the evening. Neil will also share the guidelines we follow as a group to ensure everyone is kept safe, and leave a space for any questions. We open our circle with a ‘check-in’, which is an opportunity for everyone to say their name, why they have come, and how they are feeling. There is no obligation to speak or share at all, although it is helpful to know people’s names. This is followed by an ‘open space’, which lasts for the majority of the evening, where anyone can speak if they wish to. We close the evening with a ‘check out’, where everyone can say how they are, and how they found the evening. Where is the nearest parking? There is occasionally on-street parking on Palmer Street, near to The Good Heart, although this cannot be relied upon as spaces are usually full. The nearest car park is on Cork Street, behind the Westway Centre, which is 5 minute walk from The Good Heart. If this car park is full, the Cattle Market (Cheese and Grain) car park has more spaces and is an 8-10 minute walk from The Good Heart. Both car parks are free after 6pm. Please allow enough time to arrive at 7.30pm. Why do you not allow entry after 7.40pm? We ask everyone to arrive promptly to minimise interruptions once the group has begun, and to limit the need for repetition of the evening’s guidelines and other information. Can I leave half-way through? Whilst everyone is free to leave as they wish, we ask that people come with the intention of staying for the duration of the evening. (This differs from a ‘drop-in’ where people are expected to come and go at any time.) We ask that people aim to stay from 7.30-9pm to minimise disruptions throughout the evening, and to ensure we can close the session thoughtfully for everyone who has attended. My loss was a long time ago, can I still come? People come to Dying Matters with a wide variety of experiences, and all are welcome into the space. Some people come many, many years after a loss, others come shortly after. We trust people will come at the right time for them. Is this group therapy? No, this group is defined as a ‘listening’ or ‘sharing’ circle, where people are invited to share their personal experiences and listen to one another. Whilst both Neil and Mel are qualified and experienced professionals, which enable them to hold the space safely, they will not be offering therapy during the evening. Other participants are encouraged to listen attentively and as much as possible avoid offering advice to others during the evening. If you need further support, please speak to Mel or Neil at the end, who will do their best to signpost you to appropriate services. What if I’m feeling very emotional, anxious, or unsure when I come? It’s completely normal to feel a range of emotions before or during a Dying Matters evening- sadness, relief, anxiety, confusion, numbness, frustration, and of course uncertainty about what might come up. We welcome you exactly as you are. Some people arrive feeling steady, others feeling raw, tearful. All feelings are held with care and respect within the circle, and you are always free to simply listen, sit quietly, or step out for a short break if you need to. Mel and Neil are there to help ensure the space remains safe and supportive for everyone. Do I have to come every month? No, you can come regularly if you wish, but it is also absolutely fine to come as a ‘one off’. Our attendees are usually a mixture of people who come regularly, and others who are coming for the first time. Do I have to book? No, you can just turn up on the evening. Some people prefer to book as they feel it helps them to attend on the evening. If you would like to book, you can do so by registering below Do I have to pay? The group is free, and Mel and Neil run it as volunteers. However, we welcome donations of any amount to contribute to running costs, such as venue hire. Both cash and card donations are accepted. There is no obligation to make a donation.